12 Trials A Romeo
by saffroncremebrulee
Summary: Priest Seto must complete 12 trials to rescue Kisara's soul. Unfortunately, he's helped by the incomparable Seto Kaiba, who doesn't even believe in "that hocus pocus mumbo jumbo." Intellectual adventure/humor/Mizushipping fic based on the 12 Labors of Hercules. On permanent hiatus.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, themes, and stories of YGO and Egyptian/Greek/Roman mythology. This is a work of fiction.**

**The title and story are allusions to the 12 Labors of Hercules, _12 Years a Slave_, and _Romeo and Juliet_. I do not own those works, either.**

**Many thanks to the talented Umiko581 for suggestions, encouragement, and artwork. :)**

* * *

**Egypt, The Hall of Kings**

Anubis resisted the urge to maim Seto Kaiba.

Barely.

How _dare_ this insolent mortal question the veracity of his existence as the ruler of deceased souls? And in the Hall of Kings, too, where only the greatest of the great Gods deigned to gather for what is obviously the not so great of the mortals. Anubis studied Kaiba with narrowed eyes. Surely this puny person didn't _need_ all four of limbs to function properly. This mortal certainly didn't need all _ten_ of his fingers to stroke his ego. The loss of two or three should be enough to teach him that the Gods were not fairy tales but real, powerful-

_Ahem._ Ra's telepathic cough interrupted a particularly heinous image, jerking Anubis from a very satisfying and very painful answer to Seto Kaiba's attitude problem.

_Right._ Anubis sighed as he shelved his plans. _Must. Not. Hurt. Human. Yet._

* * *

Oblivious to Anubis' wrath, Seto Kaiba continued to rail against the most realistic nightmare he has ever experienced. There, suspended in time, kneeling before a large stone statute of a dog, was his doppelganger, begging the Gods for one last chance to save some fool named Kisara from what everyone knows to be a myth adults used to trick children out of Halloween candy. His doppleganger was also dressed in some sort of sheet-like contraption, just like _that guy_ in the creepy house all the neighborhood children whispered about. And this fantastical apparition wanted his help in some idiotic quest to save an imaginary girlfriend from a dilapidated piece of rock.

_This is the last time I let Mokuba invite Yugi and those quixotic Ishtars over for dinner_, Kaiba thought. He put on his best CEO face and snarled. "_Look_, whoever you are, I do NOT believe in that hocus pocus mumbo jumbo and I am NOT helping you turn me into a laughingstock. Now release me or prepare to face the wrath of the entire Kaiba Corporation."

Not for the first time, Priest Seto resisted the urge to maim Seto Kaiba, too. Evidently the centuries have not been kind to his future self. Future Kaiba was just as brilliant as he was, but he clearly failed to inherit humility and manners. "Please listen-"

"Spare me the bedtime stories." Kaiba snarled. "I refuse to let a mirage order me around. Do you even know who I am?"

Not for the last time, Priest Seto regretted asking Ra for a partner in his mission to rescue Kisara's soul. Following the ancient tradition, he had challenged Anubis to 12 trials of wit in order to save Kisara from having to spend eternity in the Underworld with the rest of the duel monster spirits. He was hoping Ra would assign him a partner of faith, honor, and intelligence. Someone like Atem, for example. Instead, Ra taxed him with the worst possible combination of arrogance, brilliance, and cynicism- his future self, Seto Kaiba, boy billionaire, and, at the moment, head buffoon to the Egyptian Gods.

_Thunk. _

* * *

Anubis smiled approvingly as Priest Seto kicked Kaiba in the shin, upsetting the human's balance and dropping him to his knees. _Hmm_, he thought, _this one is devious and just the right amount of ruthless. The exact kind of underling I like. Perhaps I will let him keep a few fingers after thoroughly trouncing his intellect. _

"Excellent." Anubis pronounced out loud. "By kneeling, you both submit to my conditions. You shall have twelve days to complete my tasks. If you both succeed, I will reunite the slightly brighter one with the soul of his beloved and will not punish the dimmer one. If you both fail, you are to acknowledge my superiority over all of your souls and never bother me again with your insolence and arrogance."

"The only thing you're superior in is your-" Kaiba buckled again as Priest Seto kicked his other shin.

Anubis growled. Yes, four limbs were definitely too many...

* * *

**Japan, The Kaiba Mansion**

"Did it work?" Mokuba asked anxiously. He peered at Kaiba's sleeping form. "Is his soul in Egypt now?"

Ishizu Ishtar patted his head and smiled. "Yes. Judging by the infuriated look on his face, he's already at the Hall of Kings."

"Will he be safe?" Worry filled Mokuba's eyes as he readjusted Kaiba's blankets.

"Priest Seto promised to keep your brother safe during the trials, Mokuba. Don't worry."

Mokuba smiled. "He better. My big brother knows karate and he's not afraid to kick butt."

* * *

**Egypt, Valley of the Kings**

Kaiba acquainted Priest Seto with his black belt status as soon as Anubis deposited them in the middle of the desert. Fists connected with fists as the two wrestled. Grunts echoed as they gave and blocked blows. Sand swirled ominously, but neither noticed until a particularly powerful gust toppled them. Panting, they crawled behind a sand dune, grinding their teeth and silently vowing to break their forced detente as soon as circumstances allowed.

Priest Seto spoke first. "I apologize for kicking you, but it was necessary that you cooperate."

Kaiba glared. He grudgingly admitted to himself that he would have utilized the same tactics had the roles been reversed. Since that was not the case, however, he snapped. "Save it. Get me out of this and maybe I won't press charges."

A papyrus scroll materialized in Priest Seto's hands. To Kaiba's shock, he realized he could read hieroglyphs in this nightmare._ Whatever. At least Yugi isn't here to suffocate me with his stupid destiny speeches. _

Those who seek me shall not find me

Those deserve me do not want me

When day equals night

I shall be within sight

Three equal parts I am

Two circles whole I form

Enter and you shall find

The deepest desires of your mind

A small, knowing smile crept across Priest Seto's face. _So Anubis likes to play?_

A matching smirk appeared on Kaiba's face._ This is just too easy. Where's the real challenge?_

* * *

**Your turn, reader. Props if you can guess the meaning of this riddle and bonus points if you can guess what the next trial will be (no, it is not wresting an actual lion, but think in the direction of a group of lions). **

**Hints: Each of the first three couplet refers to something different: thing/time/location. The last couplet is directions. Note Priest Seto and Kaiba's geographic location. **


	2. The Lion's Pride

**Disclaimer: Still do not own YGO. **

A million thanks to Umiko581 for the cover art and edits.

* * *

**Egypt, The Pyramids**

The scorecard: one for team Seto and Kaiba and zero for Anubis.

Surprising only each other, Priest Seto and Kaiba solved the riddle at the same time. Their precise, mathematical brains analyzed all the available options before leaping to the obvious conclusions. The first verse referred to power. It was really a simple matter of logical deduction: as all despots have learned, those who seek absolute power never find it for long; as all wise rulers know, those who deserve absolute power would rather catch knives in their bare hands than take on the responsibility. But what could this absolute power mean?

Considering their geographic location, it was obvious that the second couplet referred to those who once held and perhaps still hold power- the kings. Before them, triumphant structures carved into the brilliant blue sky, framed by splashes of golden lava. The time must refer to the imminent sunrise, one of two exact times during the day when light and dark held a truce in their never ending battle for dominance.

Kaiba's strides were long and languid. He surveyed the pyramids for geometric perfection. His arms flowing with a purposeful nonchalance as he eliminated the imperfect contenders. His eyes sparkled with intellectual fervor he he considered the riddle. He was looking for three perfect equilateral triangles, sixty degrees in each corner and four perfect mirror images on each side. Four triangles for a total of seven hundred and twenty degrees or two perfect circles. Placed side by placed, the symbol for infinity- the infinite powers of the ancient Pharaohs, sealed by magic in their tombs.

"That one." Kaiba's eyes latched onto a particularly handsome structure. The desert around it pulsed with energy. They walked briskly, mindful of the rising sun above them. Their shadows matched their pace, changing angles as the balance between light and dark shifted towards equilibrium.

Seto followed his gaze. _Yes_, in the distance, a feat of human ingenuity greeted his eyes. He recognized its owner immediately. _How very like Anubis to remind me of his power. _He ignored Kaiba's startled grunt of recognition and knocked on the twin doors. _Visiting my own tomb. Harrumph._

At that precise moment, the rising sun illuminated faint hieroglyphs coating the walls. Daylight and moonlight- equal in measure- revealed the small golden scale. Two circular plates glimmered, then pulsed.

Suddenly, they shimmered into reality. One shiny plate landed in front of Seto's feet. A matching plate parked itself in front of Kaiba.

Seto understood the meaning of the test immediately. He was to stand on one side while Kaiba stood on the other. They would have to balance their faith and skepticism if they were to pass this test and gain entry to their heart's desire. _Color me frustrated. I would have better luck taming scorpions with a hammock._

Sighing, Seto positioned one foot onto the scale. Gingerly, he added his other foot. For a second, the scale stood still. Then it lurched, its precariously empty side shooting into the azure sky. Seto dangled as the plates wobbled and then fell painfully on his rear in the sand. Evidently this was not a one person job. Both sides of the scale had to be occupied at the same exact time for the door to open.

Kaiba's blood pressure rose as the scene unfolded. That apparition appeared to have _mass_. Why else would the scale tilt when he placed his weight on it? This nightmare just keeps deteriorating. First, a ghost blackmails him into participating into some hare-brained quest to reunite with a dead lover. Next, this being tricks him into visiting its tomb to show off his flowery obituary. Now this thing gained mass and, from the look on its face, wants his help yet again to balance some crazy mechanical contraption that sends users plummeting into the desert. And whoever or whatever that was standing in front of him looked, acted, and sounded exactly as he did. _Great. I've finally cracked. Forgive me, my monograms. I am not worthy._

Seto noticed Kaiba's expressions with alarm. This man's skepticism knew no bounds. Reason and logic ruled his mind. He had long sealed his heart and faith, choosing instead to wed pride and loneliness as his companions. Kaiba was determined to live as a shadow of the man he could be, shrouding his true self from all.

Seto sighed. He recognized himself in Kaiba. He, too, was prideful, but his pride originated from his desire to challenge destiny, light itself, and the Gods for a chance to reunite with Kisara. Her light guided him as he rebuilt Egypt from ruins ravaged by evil and war, and her spirit sustained him as he ruled with wisdom and fairness on the throne. His pride kept him from falling apart during the lonely nights, but the hollowness in his heart followed him even in death. He would have to swallow his pride if he wanted to succeed in this quest. He placed his feet onto the plate and looked at Kaiba, a soft plea in his eyes.

Kaiba paused. Though he would never admit it, he had softened somewhat to the strange man with terrible fashion sense as they trekked through the Valley of Kings. There was something familiar about the glint of determination in Seto's eyes. It was as if he carried an unspeakable burden that threatened to crush him for the slightest of mistakes. Only pride kept Seto from displaying signs of weakness and need. If it wasn't against all the rules of logic and reason, that kind of drive he could have very well possessed in a past life.

Kaiba sighed. Perhaps...he could shelf his skepticism just this once. After all, this could be the first stimulating intellectual challenge he's faced in years. Ra knows the nerd herd were easy pickings for idiocy and folly. He would have a harder time writing with his feet.

Kaiba placed one foot and then the other onto the plate. Immediately, the scale rose, tilting slightly from side to side before coming to a stop. The light from their shadows illuminated the twin doors. They opened with the reluctant squeak of stones unmarred by time.

Seto's eyes widened. "So you sympathize with my quest, then?"

Kaiba's only answer was a snort. _Whatever. Insulting Wheeler was getting too easy, anyway._

* * *

Darkness enclosed the inner sanctum of the pyramid. Vanilla and frankincense blanketed the air. A velvet touch of myrrh masked the sense of decay. It was evident that no human footsteps have touched the stone floors for quite some time, yet the objects within appeared to be immaculate, almost as if an unseen power had suspended the room in time. Gold, jewels, and various objects d'art decorated the four walls. Ancient hieroglyphs gave testament to Pharaoh Seto's wisdom and justice as a ruler. Faded drawings depicted various scenes from his life- his birth, his friendship with Atem, his great works for Egypt, and, finally, his death.

Seto strode past his legacy without a second glance. It was just that- the past. He had plenty of time to relive those memories in the afterlife. He wanted to create new and hopefully happier memories now.

A small, wooden table sat in the middle of the room. Two chairs faced each other. An imperceptible glow emanated from two small boards resting on its surface. Each of the two wooden squares contained ten rows and ten columns for a total of one hundred squares each. A small, two-sided coin lay on square. One of the boards contained coins that were red on one side and blank on the other. The other board contained coins that were red on one side and black on the other.

Kaiba poked a coin. Nothing. Gingerly, he turned it over. It felt solid enough, but the metal balanced itself neatly on one of its edges before he knocked it flat. _Hmm. Not a poisonous trap but a game of some sort._ _Interesting._

Seto opened the papyrus scroll:

On red alone shall love flourish

Hatred alone shall black nourish

If loneliness I seek to avoid

Then fill I must my mind's great void

If love is to win inside my heart

Then two challenges each I must outsmart

If all I see must be true

Then which path is the right of two?

He and Kaiba exchanged amused glances as they began to rearrange the coins. _This shouldn't take long at all._

* * *

**Any takers for this riddle? Think mergers and acquisitions.**


	3. The Hydra's Loneliness

**Disclaimer: Still do not own YGO or the 12 Labors of Hercules. This one is based on the hydra. **

* * *

Kaiba sneered at the game board. _Anubis calls this a challenge? Please. I would have a harder time writing a best-seller in Klingon. _

Deftly, he worked his fingers over the game board. For love- the red coins- to win, it must be true that the board has at least fifty-one red coins. Actually, it could be true that the board had anywhere from fifty-one to a hundred red coins, but only the barest majority is required to win the game. Thus, he balanced forty-nine red and blank coins on their edges. He was just thinking it was as easy as bringing trench coats back when a dark chuckle caressed his ears.

_Foolish human._ _This is where the game starts. _

* * *

_Blue. _

Her eyes had been blue.

The memory assaulted Kaiba's senses, trapping his consciousness like a flock of teenage girls with pumpkin spice lattes. Or, in this case, a cunning fox trapping his prey.

_Squeak. Smash. **Crunch. **_

He hadn't thought of her in a long time; in fact, he made a conscious effort to forget everything that reminded him of her.

_Blue. _

His mother's eyes had been blue.

He remembered now, gazing again into a sea of azure as she held him tight, humming a familiar lullaby. She murmured something about being a good big brother and taking good care of Mokie, but he hadn't understood until today what she meant. He watched his childhood self nod with a graveness he didn't yet comprehend before the lights around her hospital bed flashed.

_Blue._

Then he was alone. With Mokuba. No one left to cradle them; only the emptiness of despair.

_I'll take care of you, Mokie._

* * *

Navy.

Her eyes were navy.

Her gaze pierced his soul even in his memories. Off to one side, the nerd herd gaped, hovering protectively over Yugi as he cried salty tears into the stones of Pegasus' castle. The last vestiges of the Celtic Guardian faded into the evening mist, forlorn. A handful of star chips fluttered to his feet. Something silver and scaly disappeared, too, but he couldn't remember what it was.

_Drip. Drip. **Drip.**_

She exploded then, shattering the eerie silence that cradled them. She accused him of being less than half a man. Yugi had friends until the bitter end. What did he have at the end of the day?

"I have all that I need," he whispered, the barest tinge of hesitation on his lips.

He had been truly alone then. No one to soothe his loneliness except the void of loss and the dark drive of ambition.

_I'm coming for you, Mokie._

* * *

Cerulean.

The water was cerulean.

The crate exploded in the water, shooting a tsunami of waves into the sky. He stepped back before he realized this was another recollection.

He wondered if she still thought he was less than half a man. He has just broken the rare hunter's hand and spine, saving her life. Is that what real men do? Her words cut him deep and hard. At that moment, he desperately wanted someone- even if it was the Gardner girl- to acknowledge that, contrary to popular belief, Seto Kaiba had a heart, albeit a very icy and very small one.

_Plop. Plop. **Plop.** _

She thanked Mokie and ran towards the shrimp and mutt, never once glancing in his direction.

He was alone again, gawking at the chair she warmed not a second before. It was as if he were air itself, invisible to the human eye_._

_Who would come for me? _

* * *

So went his life in a dizzying kaleidoscope of memories.

Recollection after recollection. Sob after sob. As soon as he overcame one challenge, another followed. It was a divine conspiracy designed to make him as miserable and alone as possible. Or perhaps it was a comedy for powers beyond himself. His troubles sprouted from each other like heads from a hydra, each begetting two more like a never ending parade of fleas at the pound. His parents. The orphanage. Gozaburo. The Big 5. Mokuba. Noah. Everything in his life was a shade of blue; he would never beat this monster because it was his destiny.

_Blue._

As long as the sun rose, someone would be after him. After Mokuba, After everything he struggled to build for them both. He would fight and scrape for every scrap of dignity he had because it was the Kaiba way. Exhaustion and weariness drained his spirit. The darkness was so sweet- so tempting- all he had to do was choose the blankness in his heart and he could-

_Blue._

Blue bordering on silver.

Why was it so familiar?

_I'm coming for you, Seto. Wait for me. _

The red coins glowed as Kaiba struggled for consciousness.

_Blankness._

* * *

**No riddle this week, but guess who's making a cameo (along with another game) next week? **


	4. The Priest's Dragon

**Disclaimer: I do not own YGO or the 12 Trials of Hercules. This chapter is based on the trial of Diana's pet deer.**

**Credit to Umiko581 for edits and for introducing me to the original coin weighing game. Riddle courtesy of yours truly.**

* * *

Seto gaped at the now empty seat in front of him, not believing his eyes. Kaiba had occupied that wooden chair until a few minutes ago, laughing about how easy this game was compared to the first two riddles. Now he was gone, diffused into the game board like honey in milk.

The air stirred with mystery and danger.

Seto sighed. It was just like Kaiba to plunge head-first into everything, confident in his own brilliance and completely ignoring the smarts of others. He possessed a certain aloofness, almost as if his destiny was to complete every single task alone. The man would blind himself than ask for or receive help. _A shame, really._ He would have friends if he only opened his eyes.

_The coins are just the beginning. The real challenge is inside the board._

* * *

Kaiba awoke with a groan. His head throbbed. His gaze was hazy. A halo of silver hair grazed his shoulder. The faint trace of tears baptized his lapels.

He looked up and into the bluest pair of eyes he had ever seen. They looked achingly familiar, but he couldn't place them in his confusion. _Where have I seen them before?_

Clear, crystal, and cornflower blue.

He knew those eyes- her entire life was written in them- but who was she?

* * *

_Click. Clack. **Squish.** _

There she was at five, crumpled in the sand, a stranger in a distant land. The desert glittered an ethereal shade of gold. That was all she was worth, too, to the slave traders who forced her to march from village to village in search of work. The shackles chafed as she struggled to stand up. She didn't want to meet the wrong end of the whip again. Even at five she knew better than to rage against destiny. It was a pointless struggle. She would work for as long as she was able and after that, Hypnos willing, she will see her family again.

_Clack. Squeak. **Creak.**_

There she was again at ten, collapsed at the back of the wagon, another passenger for a one-way trip to the pyramids. The night shone an angelic shade of navy. She wondered if she was even worth the cost of the chains that covered her limbs. Probably not, she decided without malice. The years had taken its toll; she felt weak, ill, and weary. Days melted into nights when she counted the stars in the sky. Perhaps Thanatos would take pity upon her and let her serve a less cruel family before-

Blue eyes beckoned from the behind the wooden doors. A young boy, perhaps a year or two older than her, surreptitiously beckoning her to follow. One of the new masters pulling a practical joke? Possible, but unlikely. His eyes radiated sincerity. She trusted him and her faith rewarded her with a spark of human kindness.

She memorized his eyes as her horse galloped towards safety. Her heart burned.

_Thump. Thud. **Thump.**_

There she was again, at fifteen, crumpled again in the middle of the town square, surrounded by jeers and laughter. She had- if grudgingly- made peace with her status as an outsider among outsiders. She was accustomed to ridicule. She joined this group of ragtag travelers after Seto rescued her, but even among former convicts she didn't belong. She hurt constantly, but she bore the ridicule with grace- if she couldn't have any dignity in life, well, perhaps she would have it in the afterlife.

Dimly, she registered someone carrying her to a soft, comfortable bed.

She slept. He spoke to her dreams. She didn't need to open her eyes to know it was him again. It was always Seto who comforted and guided her. Even in her dreams she followed the direction of his voice- out the door, through the open courtyard, and onto the path of a black and blue ball of pain as he hugged her tight.

_**Thud.**_

_I'll wait for you, Seto. _

* * *

Kaiba's eyes fluttered. He awoke face first in a pile of coins. Their metallic edges mocked him.

_Kisara. _

Her eyes had been blue, too.

Kaiba looked across the table at Seto, wordless. Kaiba wanted to say something- anything- after the epiphany he just experienced- but nothing came to mind. He touched his lapel, where the briefest trace of moisture lingered over his KC monogram.

Wordlessly, he rearranged the coins into two red sheets. One board for the love in Seto's heart and the other for the love in Kisara's heart.

He pushed the boards together. A sea of red parted by time and circumstance, reunited at last.

Seto nodded.

_No words necessary, my friend._

* * *

The coins glowed again. One by one, a hundred and eight-eight coins vanished into threads of frankincense and myrrh, leaving twelve red coins behind.

A miniature of the scale from the entrance of the pyramid appeared with another papyrus scroll.

Twelve challenges you were to face

Nine days left to race

Life lighter than a feather

Death one cannot tether

Lies will lead your heart astray

But the truth shall set you free

Find one amongst twelve

Chances three you have

* * *

**Any takers for this game? **


	5. The Tomb Keeper's Bore(dom)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own YGO, Greek/Roman/Egyptian mythology, the original coin weighing game (Thanks, Umi!). This trial is based on the taming of the boar. I don't own the Edgar Allan Poe poem referenced below, either. Cookies if you can name it.

* * *

Kaiba surveyed the scale, coins, and room with a touch of apprehension, swiftly bandaged by steely self-control. As much as he now understood and supported Seto's quest to reunite with Kisara, he wasn't stupid enough to risk another mind-bending dream within a dream sequence after his latest tete a tete with Anubis. Just because he temporarily misplaced his common sense and decided to help this fool doesn't mean he couldn't help from afar, preferably from as solid of a ground as Ra's green earth offered.

_Metaphysical thinking...schmetaphysical thinking._ It wouldn't hurt to see if Seto had the mental chops to make it through one of these trials on his own, right?_ Sure he's got (my!) great hair, but he still has to prove he's not a card-carrying member the nerd herd first. Wouldn't do for me to be associated with another founding member of the international association of idiots._

Oblivious to his partner's ruminations, Seto attacked the newest riddle with gusto. The first couplet was easy. Of the twelve challenges, he and Kaiba completed the first one together. Kaiba already solved the second one. This one was his. And they had nine days left to complete the remaining ones. At this rate they'll finish with enough time to hypnotize a couple of Kuribohs for fishing by the Nile.

Gingerly, Seto poked one of the twelve coins. He checked his jaw. No fangs or an overbites. _Well then. _He moved on to the others. All metal and all very, very solid. No discernible difference to the human (spirit?) touch as far as he could could tell.

_Hmmm._ The fourth couplet seemed most relevant to the situation at hand. One of the twelve coins must be different than the others in some way. _Let's see_...The presence of the scale was a dead giveaway the difference is in weight. The last time Seto weighed something- Kaiba's skepticism from the first morning not withstanding- it was his soul against Ma'at's feather of truth. If life was truly lighter than a feather, the coin he was looking for must be lighter than the other eleven. Death may have tethered their physical forms, but not even Osiris himself could disconnect their love for each other. Separated as they may be, their hearts beat as one. That coin would buy the life Kisara deserved from Anubis.

Since it was their third riddle, Seto had three chances to locate the coin. The scale and his intellect would be his only allies.

He placed one coin on a miniature golden plate, half-expecting to turn into mist or dew or whatever humiliating creature Anubis happened to fancy at the moment. Nothing of the sort. The scale tilted upwards, towards Kaiba, whose face registered a brief speck of horrified anticipation before intellectual curiosity squashed it. Seto feigned temporary blindness to this uncharacteristic display of concern as he placed six coins on each side. The scale tilted slightly before the plate on his side floated. _Ha. Take that to the bank, Anubis._

The heavier of the six coins on Kaiba's side vanished.

Two chances left to the find the lightest of the six remaining coins.

Seto moved three of the remaining six coins to the now-empty side of the scale.

The heavier of those three coins tilted towards him and disappeared, too.

One chance left to find the lightest of three.

Seto moved one coin to his hand and one coin to the empty plate. The two remaining coins quivered before the scale rested at equilibrium. Since both of those coins were the same weight, they evaporated, leaving Seto with one remaining coin which must be the lightest of twelve. This one did not melt but instead floated to his neck, where it attached itself to a silvery blue chain that reminded Kaiba- though he would never admit it out loud- of a very familiar pair of eyes.

The scale, however, melted, shimmering into a familiar gold rod that floated obediently into Seto's right hand. The eye of Horus glinted when it recognized its old master. Seto's face broke into a very un-Seto-like grin as he twirled the Millennium Rod, establishing his mental link with well-practiced ease. Kaiba's face broke into a very Kaiba-like grimace. _Holy Ra it's just like watching a mime talk or- worse- Wheeler trying to duel._ Even the drawings on the wall seemed perturbed by this disturbing scene of Seto displaying an emotion other than disdain.

Seto was too busy plotting Anubis' demise to notice. _Finally. Some firepower after all these trials. I'm baaaack._

Kaiba found Seto's interactions with the staff very unsettling. The expression on his companion's face reminded him of the one that little blonde-haired girl- what was her name? Rebecca?- wore before she and her possessed teddy bear stormed Kaibaland with the most idiotic excuse for a duel his system ever recorded. What a bunch of nonsense about duel monster spirits and the ties of friendship. Not even the apparently genius of her grandfather- a sane-looking and, by all accounts, well-respected authority in Egyptology- was immune to the mind-bending effect of stuffed items. (Kaiba arranged to cut funding for his institution immediately). Security reported at least three hundred instances of children who fainted after witnessing Yugi's miserable excuse of a performance against a child with a stuffed animal. Kaiba didn't need the Ishizu fool to foresee a total recall of all cotton and polyester products except for blue eyes white dragon products.

Ignorant of the obvious dangers posed by inanimate objects, Seto continued to twirl the Millennium Rod. The duo appeared to communicate through a telepathic link like the one Yugi had with his imaginary friend. In the span of three minutes, Kaiba planned no less than seventeen escape routes from the room, each more impossible than the last. He despaired. _Great. Just great. They're going to channel Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Wheeler's brain next. _

The rod, to its credit, managed to compress three thousand years of adventures into three minutes of images for Seto to digest. Memory after memory of inexplicably tan tomb keepers watched over the Rod until a particularly bronze one with crazy eye rampaged Battle City. Seto wondered if the strange oblique flying contraption was responsible for turning Marik in a lovely shade of bronze despite his years of sun-deprivation. He made a mental note to ask his future self before seeing Kisara again. _It_ wo_uldn't hurt to look as handsome as possible, right?_

The Millennium Rod seemed less concerned about first-date aesthetics and more concerned about Kaiba's less than enthusiastic reaction to its presence. It seemed- for lack of a better description- _hurt_\- that this other being failed to greet him with the warmth of his first master. The eye of Horus drooped sadly.

Kaiba refused to back down. Was that inanimate object..._disappointed _in him?_ Lies._ Protons and neutrons don't have _feelings, _no matter how much the Gardner girl prattled on about that heart of the universe nonsense. Metals can't possibly comprehend such things as anger and loyalty and they certain don't have the power to grant visions of the-

_Holy Ra not again._

He was in the clouds this time, dreaming yet another dream within a dream where a holographic image of Seto waved at a solid image of Marik Ishtar...who was waving at the Millenium Rod...which was waving at himself- Seto Kaiba...who was standing shell-shocked on top of the KC blimp, dueling the Ishtar woman (who he made a mental note to sack from the Domino Museum as soon as he returned). Dream Kaiba appeared just as upset as non-dream Kaiba about the fact that Seto used the rod to conjure an image of himself cradling Kisara's body, slumped before a stone tablet.

Kaiba mentally slapped himself as dream Kaiba took this obscenely realistic hallucination to mean he should sacrifice Obelisk to summon his Blue Eyes White Dragon. Then he realized this hocus pocus allowed him to win. _It's not...cheating if I'm helping myself, right? Yugi does this all the time and no one accuses him of having an unfair advantage._

Somehow, this bizarre turn of events made Ishizu inexplicably happy instead of soul-crushingly depressed like any nimrod with a half a brain who was just humiliated at one of the most prestigious tournaments in the world. Figures why blimp Kaiba purposefully "forgot" to obtain Ishizu's rarest card after the duel. _It's probably a schematic for a teddy bear anyway. Almost as useless as that piece of costume jewelry around her neck._

Even so, Kaiba couldn't quite pinpoint which was worse: that he understood what was going on in this confusing metaphysical train wreck or that this inanimate object with feelings seemed responsible for the whole tortilla. If this was destiny, then he was more convinced than ever it was about as practical as Tristan Taylor in an emergency. Even Gardner had her uses...well, one use when she saved Mokuba. The rest was just fairy tales designed to con small children into surrendering their hard-earned lunch money to bullies.

Unfortunately for Kaiba, years of boredom from living in the dank tombs provided Marik's darker half with many creative solutions for battling with the Millennium Rod, original loyalty to Seto in all his incarnations notwithstanding. It wasn't like the the Ishtars kept drawers full of crossword puzzles for their children. Whereas Ishizu channeled her energy into communing with time, Marik channeled his creativity into less...painless methods of physical and psychological interaction. Hence the wide berth other tomb keeper children gave him at their annual underground potlucks.

Seto, satisfied with the outcome of the duel, faded from view, severing his connection with the rod as he left. Dejected, the golden object slumped back to its newest owner, a sense of foreboding coursing through its atoms as it interpreted Marik's mental commands.

Having decided Kaiba would the perfect volunteer for some of his newest inventions, Marik took aim.

**Bullseye.**

Kaiba cursed as his world melted from view yet again. _Just once I'd like to see Seto try this without motion sickness medicine. _

A papyrus scroll materialized in his hands:

Dawn, dusk, day, night

Up, down, left, right

Try and try as you might

Gravity you cannot fight

Forty paces every which way

In one place you shall stay

Circle cirle dot dot

Can you find the right spot?

* * *

**Review? **

Major props if you can solve this one. Think about the scale, spheres, circles, and driving around in squares (oh and if you're familiar with the playground tradition of cootie shots, that too). All of them have one fairly abstract concept in common.

Coming up next: Yami Marik's dream world (Ch. 5 of Trials) and- by request- Ch. 2 of _Cereal._


	6. The CEO's Stabl(ility)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own YGO, Edgar Allan Poe's wonderful poem, or YGOTAS.

Many thanks to Umiko581 for looking at this riddle, which took a seriously long time to write...You're the best!

* * *

"Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?"

**Edgar Allan Poe**

_Blue eyes on a s'more!_

Kaiba surveyed the newest nightmare with ill-concealed terror. Of all the sites that demented, inane, self-righteous piece of metal (with obviously had hallucinatory side effects worthy of government intervention) could have picked for its base of operations, _of course_ it had to choose a playground. Filled with living, breathing kindergartners drooling on the sandbox like dice boy around the other Wheeler (what was her name again? Sarah? Selena?) with enough brains for an ice cube. _Of course_. Honestly, Kaiba would be more happier baking scones with Gardener or sharing hair gel with Mokuba. _Ugh._

The tall teenager smirked at what can only be described as moving dolls with too-short legs and too-short arms circling the playground, dangling precariously from structurally unsound apparatuses in the name of "fun." _Harrumph._ _The only fun here is all the bacteria multiplying like fan girls at a convention. _There was quite a bit of crying, too, along with enough snot, glue, and germs to send every normal adult running to update their immunizations. Behind the sandbox, teachers beckoned with platefuls of perfectly halved green organic tomatoes, vitamin supplements, and yogurt cultured from the despair of intelligent people everywhere.

_Blue eyes on a s'more...minus the chocolate and graham crackers, because if there's anything I hate more than Wheeler playing a children's card game, it's actual children playing with anything except Kaiba brand products, which is obviously does not apply to this non-gold monstrosity masquerading as swings. Holy Ra. If this sentimental idiocy is supposed to convince me to go organic and spout sentimental junk like Yu-_

A short, spunky boy forcibly dragged Kaiba out of his reverie. A very familiar pair of amethyst eyes, framed by black, red, and blonde grinned widely into horrified blue ones. Come to think of it, this hobbit looked a lot like Yugi, shrunken to half his normal size- which, admittedly, is not much of an improvement upon his normal stature- complete with a guileless innocence that birthed many a imaginary friend with illusions of royalty. _Nice costume, dork. That miniature pendant looks about as real as Mai Valentine's highlights._

"Hey mister! Wanna duel? Prettypleasewithadarkmagicianontop?" Yugi's obviously long-lost second cousin from a distant but still weird-haired branch of the family produced a deck of cards... before promptly dropping them. Those short, stubby fingers didn't look like they could hold a pair of chopsticks, let alone forty-some cards, all of which dropped unceremonious in the sand. A puzzled-looking Celtic Guardian, the always-cheery Dark Magician Girl, and a hairy dishrag that could only be Kuriboh landed in disarray. Various other monster cards fluttered to the ground, too, but a very familiar blue and silver one hit Kaiba's leather shoes, igniting a small gasp.

The blue eyes _winked_.

Kaiba resisted the urge to bathe in hand sanitizer as he scooped the card up. _How dare this dimwit treat the blue eyes white dragon with such carelessness?_ _Amateur._ Thankfully, the card wasn't damaged. It was soft, leathery, and just a touch worn. Someone obviously cherished the card- there were faint marks of paper polish on the edges, but whoever it was couldn't have been very bright if they just let a seven-year-old rob them. Whoever it was probably didn't even build a security vault for their blue eyes, let alone an entire security team to ensure its safety. _Amateur._

_Ooookkk._ So somehow, this miniature con artist managed to steal a deck that matched Yugi's when Kaiba first met him, down to the very last card. _Impressive._ This pipsqueak criminal probably couldn't even count to ten, though come to think of it Taylor might not be able to, either. Wheeler's proof enough that physical size is not an accurate indicator of intellectual prowess. _Win some, lose some?_ At least this...whoever this is...didn't come with a fully assembled dweeb squad. Ra help Kaiba if he had to babysit a miniature Gardner, too. It would be faster to teach turtles how to pop and lock.

Despite his skepticism, Kaiba remained cautious. All children besides Mokie were very suspect. This innocent-looking mirage, for example, could very well be harboring Exodia in his deck. Or worse, fugitives who commit crimes against monograms.

The blue eyes card winked again, snapping Kaiba's attention back to the shrunken hallucination, who was grinning stupidly like a child who just toppled the cookie jar.

"You have a blue eyes white dragon?" Shock permeated every syllable. _I can't possibly be contemplating the possibility of time travel, but it's worth asking._

Still grinning stupidly, the impersonator nodded with ferocious enthusiasm. "Yep. My grandpa gave it to me. You can have her if you win."

At that, all of Kaiba's precious scientific knowledge evaporated like sanity at the froyo store. _Er...Eh...Well.._.no one has conclusively proven that time travel is_ im_possible. Short of full-fledged insanity, it was the only logical explanation for why that card is still intact.

_Well_... Kaiba supposed it was metaphysically possible that someone invented time travel and then decided to patent their invention, so perhaps there was a slight possibility that his moment of hubris from a long time ago didn't obliterate Solomon Motou's fully functional blue eyes white dragon card.

_FINE_. _I'll duel the hobbit. But it's only because I want to win the blue eyes...for Seto, because that's the only way he'll stop moping like froyo's going out of style. Yeah... that's definitely it. I'll win this card and we could wear it in our matching man-necklaces. Only I'll have a picture of Mokuba and he'll have a picture of his imaginary girlfriend. _

_There's no other plausible reason why I would agree to this, except maybe to flush that flamboyant smirk off Yugi's face... _

_(Beating imaginary Yugi is still winning at life, right?)_

Grinning widely, the talking doll began to shuffle his deck. "Let's _duel_."

Kaiba laughed. A brittle, gleeful sound that sounded a tad too happy, causing the yogurt to curdle into cheese.

_Let's duel indeed._

* * *

A hundred-some duels later, Kaiba reconsidered his position on time travel.

They dueled through the night.

Past the early morning sunrise, the late evening sunset, and the dew glistening in the dawn.

Kaiba tried every conceivable formation he could dream up, and still no luck. That little pipsqueak may be a hallucination, but it possessed every ounce of Yugi's dueling prowess, rendering last twenty-four hours excruciatingly painful. Kaiba hated losing, especially to Yugi or Atem or whatever alias this personality called himself. Every iteration of the duels made Kaiba want to vomit whilst abandoning monograms, but for some reason Seto's face kept flashing through his mind, so Kaiba continued to play.

He supposed that wistful look on Seto's face when saw the two red game boards- reunited after centuries of separation- had magical hallucinatory powers. It definitely wasn't that odd piece of metal that caused him to act this way.

Kaiba sighed. He would win the blue eyes card for Seto; it was better than giving him a bottle, anyway...

* * *

Two hundred duels later, Kaiba recanted his stance against bribery.

He made the Yugi impersonator switch places with him; perhaps the location of the sun provided an unfair advantage. No luck. He convinced the boy jump in the air every time he made a move. Still no luck. The hobbit did jumping jacks for ten straight duels. No dice. Finally, he made the little con artist sit on the ground and duel blindfolded. Still no dice.

Glumly, Kaiba wondered if children needed untraceable bank accounts and tropical islands. Everyone likes money and pineapples, right?

* * *

Three hundred duels later, Kaiba renegaded on his promise to help Seto.

The hobbit was good. Really, really, crazy good at card games. He won even with all cards facedown in the sand. Blindfolded with earplugs, too, making Kaiba wonder if robots ate casinos instead of electricity. There was no other explanation for the other-worldly propensity for winning, except maybe the spirit of the ancient Pharaoh nonsense, but that obviously did not end well for Atem or whatever his name was.

Out of curiosity and desperation, Kaiba tried the same trick, letting his beloved cards fall into golden grains...in protective plastic coverings, of course. Gravity, germs, and despair claimed every duel. There was no beating this kid fair and square in this game.

Kaiba groaned. Maybe it was time to cash in his stock options and retire to the tropics instead...

* * *

Four hundred duels later, Kaiba wanted to shake the stuffing out of Yugi, Atem, or whoever the heck this was.

The boy made him run laps around the playground before he would duel again. Each of the forty assigned laps felt like long, tortuous burns marked by the delighted cheers of Lilliputian dolls who suddenly crawled out of the playground. The boy said it was payback for the jump jacks; Kaiba always thought Yugi had a sadistic streak. _And here I thought there was nothing quite as humiliating as trying to have an intelligent conversation with Wheeler. _The children laughed happily as Kaiba sprinted past them, long legs flying as his trench coat fluttered in the wind. _Why do I get the feeling I'm running but not going anywhere? Oh right. I'm running in circles. Kind of like this duel._

Kaiba's last thought was the image of a winking blue eyes before a patch of grass slugged his face.

* * *

"Good game, mister."

Blue eyes fluttered open. Blurriness, confusion, and soreness. Kaiba couldn't move. All of his limbs felt melted, broken, and liquidified. His soul felt battered, too. He checked himself for a pulse.

Yugi pressed the blue eyes card into Kaiba's hand. "Congratulations! You finally figured out the meaning of the riddle. It's all about being balanced and stuff."

_Riddle? What balance? I'm swimming in fertilizer._ Leprechauns danced in Kaiba's head. No. Scratch that. They were doing a celebratory jig fueled by sugar and gold. Oh right. They had dueled through days, nights, and every conceivable cardinal direction, deprived of important senses, and subject to the humiliating lessons in gravity and stability. All in the name of...what exactly?

Before he could contemplate the conundrum further, he felt the smaller boy draw on his hand. A finger made two loops and then pressed twice in the center.

"There." Yugi declared triumphantly. "Now you won't get sick from the germs."

_What?!_

Noticing Kaiba's confused expression, the boy quickly explained. "It's a cootie shot. It's for protection against viruses and stuff. Everyone on the playground knows it."

Kaiba's raised eyebrow said everything he wanted and more. _No wonder adult Yugi is a bit touched in the head..._

* * *

It wasn't until another papyrus scroll appeared that Kaiba realized the meaning of the riddle. It was about balance, that lovely medium between light and dark, day and night, faith and reason. Being centered with the universe and letting gravity dictate his course. Growing up and going places yet remaining childlike with naivete, as masterfully demonstrated by Yugi. In other words, putting a little more stock in Gardner's sentimental bunk, as if it was OK for adults to prattle on and on about to destiny and karma. _Blah, blah, blah._ All that heart of the cards nonsense he didn't bother to acknowledge when other people were around.

When other people weren't around, however, well, maybe it was possible that there is some truth to that bunk. Just a little, teensy, weensy, miniscule bit of truth. How else would he explain his current predicament?

Sighing, Kaiba pocketed the blue eyes card and opened the newest scroll.

_Seto better be ready to do some jumping jacks..._

Offer me your every prayer

Hope with wings it may soar

I'm worth my weight in gold

Countless friendships I have sold

Speak and cut me with your word

Mortal trusts I bind with cord

All your secrets I shall keep

Even through your endless sleep

* * *

Review?


	7. The Pharaoh's Flight

**Disclaimer:** I do not own YGO, classical mythology, or the fantastic blue eyes jet.

This chapter is based on the trial of the birds as well as the ending of the Dawn of the Duel anime arc.

Dedicated to the wonderful Umiko581. This story would not exist without your encouragement! Also, kudos for inventing the description Kaiba's eyes are sweating, which I'm shamelessly borrowing here. Call it a tribute?

* * *

"So let it be written. So let it be done."

Atem, upon handing the Millennium Puzzle to King Seto

Wails echoed throughout Egypt.

Shrieks bounced from city to city as Egypt re-emerged, scared breathless, from the wreckage of wood, stone, and sand swirling in Zorc's wake. Cries of anguish echoed while people sifted through the wreckage, the sound reverberating through the corners of cities as they wept, crying bitterly for the loss of their loved ones, their homes, and their lives. The miniature corner stall that once sold fruit by the bushel was gone, smothered by sand and ashes. The neighborhood market destroyed, flattened to a concave shells of rinds and peels that shivered in the desert wind. The town's lovely gardens decimated into shredded petals and leaves, mourning as the evening wind buried the once beautiful country in hurricanes of sand.

The people mourned the loss of their cities, their lands, and most of all their King, who sacrificed himself so that Egypt remained to greet Ra again and again. The sound of tears merged with the Nile. Their brave, heroic Pharaoh died so they may live, leaving not even the shadow of his name behind, the chronicles of his reign falling through the grains of memory until his story crystallized into myth. The boy king who could have been, the life he would have lived, the leader he would have become. For the Nameless Pharaoh, Egypt grieved, and, along with him, their once peaceful land, thrust into a nightmarish kaleidoscope of disarray.

From the balconies of the Palace, Seto listened while the crowds reverberated one cacophonous dome of despair.

Anguished, he paced, one hand clasped tightly around the Millennium Rod and the other around the Millennium Puzzle. Both objects felt heavy- even heavier than his heart- the trials before the kingdom etched clearly in the streets below. _By Ra. Egypt_. The contents of Pandora's box seemed comically real now, almost as if the gods were pulled a macabre prank on them merely for laughs. Somehow, almost overnight, complete darkness shredded the kingdom was until only its skeleton remained.

Yet Egypt stood, if barely, and that was all Seto needed to restore the vision of what she should be.

He often sat in the throne room late at night, long after the guardians retired to their chambers. The light from the Millennium items was his guide, the memories as well as dreams of those who occupied the chair before him. Strange, to be Pharaoh. Many people dreamed of power and glory, but he never did. He had always been _beside_ the throne, _behind_ the king, _with_ every decision the court pronounced in the name of justice and fairness. Now those memories were empty, erased of even the name of its previous occupant, both the King and his council scattered in the embrace of Osiris. _Shimon. Mahad. Karim. Shada. Isis. Aknadin._ The original sacred guardians all gone, erased from existence by the evil that lingered still.

Only he and Mana were left. So much damage, so much carnage, and so much left to sift through. He attacked the task with his usual zeal and she with her usual optimism, though she did seem slightly less like an excitable Kuriboh and more like an actual guardian now. This terrifying change almost made Seto miss the old days, when she would surprise him with cannons of paint, flour, and flower on his way to morning court, causing the Pharaoh's lips to quiver and the always serious Mahad to cough haphazardly with "allergies." The kohl that rained from their eyes then told stories of innocence and joy. Now kohl rained an entirely different reason, but Seto promised to change that and change he would.

For months, he contemplated the Millennium items while planning everything from roads to farms. Rebuild they would, starting with the streets and expanding to every corner until every stray grain of sand was returned to its proper place. Be it days, years, or lifetimes, he would see to it that peace was restored to Egypt.

He started with the shattered throne room first. After that, the clattering of furniture reverberated throughout the palace as Mana overtook the reconstruction effort, buzzing from corridor to corridor with her magic wand, chanting from Mahad's notebook with a garland of pink peonies swinging happily around her neck. _Swoooooosh. _An errant chair rearranged itself behind the table. _Ziiiiiiip. _The broken windows re-framed themselves. _Whoooooosh._ The dented walls glued themselves back together. A ragtag band of apprentices mimicked her every move with their make-shift wands (for Zorc had broken their real wands) and half-combed hair (for which Seto had no explanation), chanting spell after spell as they repaired this and that, mischievous laughter bubbling into the streets below.

Seto rolled his eyes at their frivolity but refrained from commenting.

Giggles were preferable to wails and, besides, he learned already it was useless to argue with Mana. When she wasn't lecturing sternly, cap askew, staff punctuating each word, she was still pulling pranks like enchanting little sparkly blue eyes white dragons to follow his every move. Once, the hallucinations sprouted small vines that doused him with a deluge of pollen and petals. The faint buzz of bees followed him for the rest of the day and, wryly, he recalled the times when Mana would hide in the very vases she tended to while Mahad trailed irately behind. Now soldiers tagged behind her, sweeping the bits of wood and stone into large carts for disposal. Volunteers lagged in the rear, retrieving livestock and grains. Children huddled silently while their parents hammered and nailed doors back together. _Tap. Tap. Tap. _The steady drums permeated Seto's dreams, but he didn't mind because they sounded like hope marching in the darkness.

The people rallied sluggishly while they helped rebuild homes and schools. Soon, the fragrance of flowers filled Egypt. Initially through the palace, then through the capital, and then the four corners of the kingdom as the Nile bubbled once again with joy. Lotuses floated once again, along with boats, reeds, and fish. Fields grew green and lush. The chirping of birds accompanied the steady plowing of grains. Children were the first the regain their laughter; slowly, their parents followed, the noises of animals braying cheerily in their wake.

The wails abated not long after, replaced by the soft clatter of cooking utensils, washing boards, and hushed conversations. The din of everyday life resumed, lightly at first and then progressively louder, until they reverberated through the stones of Cairo. Quietly, the city rose again, its gleaming walls and golden gates shining in the dusk. The waters flowed, bringing with it the riches of the Mediterranean and the Orient, transporting wealth through the kingdom. The fields grew under the guidance of Seto's new guardians who shared Mana's unwavering optimism for restoration.

Seto observed all from the balcony, drafting plan after plan at his desk with his quill resting upon the Millennium Puzzle. He visited the cities daily. The people told him of their ills, their hopes, their dreams, voices hushed with reverence when Seto tried to realize them. Measure by measure their murmurs subsided into hums of contentment, then rose in gales of joy as the kingdom of Egypt rose once again, sending goods and riches across the borders of the known universe.

And after many years of this symphony, content, Seto joined the kings who walked before him. For a brief moment, the image of a blue eyes white dragon flashed through the skies above. He wept as he ascended the reed boats, silent tears dripping into the Nile, floating towards the edges of a now glorious kingdom, over the edges and westwards towards the islands he now called home. His people subsided into silence once again for the king who was, the life he lived, the leader he became, and the legend he will always be.

And beside, behind, and with them, the spirit of the blue eyes white dragon soared, its tears mingling with the waters below, forever watching, forever mourning, and forever waiting.

* * *

Kaiba observed the latest foray in virtual reality with blunt disbelief.

It all seemed so _real_. If Wheeler were here, he would snivel like the baby he was. If Taylor were present, he would pontificate loudly upon fate and true love like the fool he was, too. If Gardner were here- the thought alone was too terrible, so he squashed it ruthlessly- please, no, anyone but her to wax poetic about sentimental bunk. Even Yugi's canned destiny speeches were preferable; at least that little pipsqueak had actual dueling talent, though obviously not as much as Kaiba himself, history notwithstanding. _Yada. Yada. Yada. Yada. Idiots, the lot of them. Must be contagious, because my eyes are sweating._

On the other side, Seto observed the images that flashed before them stoically. He had been expecting dream visions ever since Kaiba returned from the second and fifth trials. The Millenium Rod had already alerted him to this particular vision, but he hadn't expected the emotional impact to be so raw. Even Kaiba was- uncharacteristically- showing emotion, though the latter defensively disowned said feelings when Seto shot a questioning eyebrow in his direction.

Pretending not to see his partner's discreetly sniffle, Seto's expression remained calm while he faced the latest trial. There was an order and method he recognized. The vision from the Millennium Rod must figure in somehow. Prayers? Wings? Gold? How in Osiris' name are those related?

The air in the inner chamber settled while Seto pondered. Several options were tested and discarded as he tried potential solutions. Keeping secrets...hmmm...this trial must be a word game.

Or, in retrospect, a game without words.

The riddle of _silence_.

What else would he have offered in Egypt's time of need? His silent prayer for peace and prosperity in the hopes that the Gods above would hear, attaching with it the dreams of an entire nation. The kingdom needed strength. People praise silence as golden, but for Seto, after Zorc tore through his kingdom, the only worth he valued was the absence of sounds, those wails and cries of despair.

Though he no longer remembered the late Pharaoh's real name, he remembered his promise to a dear friend. They inspired the commission of the stone tablet his future self would later see (and disbelieve, as the case happened to be) at the Domino Museum. It was a symbol of trust they shared even in death- the vision of a peaceful and prosperous Egypt.

Silence, too, was Seto's constant companion in his days as Pharaoh. Though he could no longer hear Kisara's voice, he visited the tablet of the blue eyes white dragon often, bringing with him some of Mana's garlands in tribute. Her sacrifice sustained him, her love connected them. The flowers represented the first seeds of a promise that one day, they would be reunited. Though the tablet was silent in the many hours he spent at the temple, but he knew that she was by his side and in his heart throughout his rule.

After observing Seto's quietness for a few minutes, it was Kaiba's turn to raise a questioning eyebrow. Halloween Costume hadn't uttered a single phrase since reviewing the latest riddle. _Great. Now he's a mime with jumpy eyebrows. This is why I only endorse Kaiba brand virtual reality systems. No risk of intellectual obliteration there._

Come to think of it, Seto had been oddly quiet since snatching the blue eyes white dragon car away from Kaiba. The image seemed to resonate with his headdress for a few moments before the card inexplicably vibrated in recognition (programming error, obviously). Mist rose from its surface until it percolated into a familiar silver form that nuzzled Seto's hand and then took flight, soaring through the ceiling of the chamber with a mighty roar.

Kaiba sighed as Seto's face turned an appallingly Yugi-esque shade of pink. Was this guy embarrassed, in love, or just plain insane? Maybe all of the above? Whatever hocus pocus he just pulled must have solved the riddle. The flying blue eyes seemed realistic enough, but there were some aerodynamic specifications conspicuously missing from the technical makeup. Mokuba could program better reality simulations than that and he was only ten, for crying out loud.

Whatever.

_M__y jet can fly higher than that. Harrumph._

The Millennium Rod began to sparkle as Anubis began his next trial.

* * *

Please review?

Apologies to everyone who was waiting on a riddle. I haven't been able to invent a suitable one, so we're going with the Millenium Rod delivering the trials for now. :(


	8. The Brother's Help

**Trials #7**

**Disclaimer**: Do not own YGO, blue eyes, and Kaiba's awesome hair.

Note 1: Apologies for the extremely long wait. I wanted to capture Kaiba's bond with Mokuba and blue eyes just so and..._well_...life kind of happened.

Note 2: I am going on hiatus from YGO fandom (and probably fanfiction in general) due to real life obligations. As I promised some of you, here are the working drafts on what has already been completed for Trials. Some of the chapters are almost two years old so they're not my best work, but I hope they will give those of you who asked a sense of where this story was headed.

...

Kaiba landed on the carpet with a soft _ooomph_. Every fiber of his face protested the cotton and polyester blend. It was a sickly puce color, with faded fibers and bits of food glued in between. Seto was nowhere to be seen, which meant that either the merry-go-around in the past nightmare was almost over or that it was Kaiba's turn. _Great. Just great. _Judging by the hives developing on his neck, Kaiba guessed the latter. _Harrumph. I haven't seen discount rugs this bad since the orpha-_

_Taylor on a blimp! It's the orphanage all over again. _

Technically, orphanage was too complimentary a description for the hole-in-the-wall he and Mokuba landed in after their parents died. Really, the shack doubled as an ancient ticket booth for a haunted carnival, no doubt purchased on a steep discount by well-meaning but financially unstable organizations that went bankrupt before the new paint even dried. That left fifty-some children in various states of distress. Some tall, some short, all hungry and all very much neglected until Gozaburo Kaiba decided his company needed "good publicity" after their latest weapons-related disaster.

Now Gozaburo's idea of "good publicity" involved personally delivering cars of toys when photographers were present and not much else. Meals usually consisted of shriveled beans, spam, and the odd expired box of crackers. Heat was an unknown luxury, especially in the chill December air blasting through through the open, decrepit windows. There were no blankets, just shrunken forms huddled together by the peeling paint as they await Hobson, the kind if somewhat stoic, butler's next supply run.

Kaiba surveyed the scene with an uncharacteristically sweaty eyes. The steady chatter of teeth drowned much of his sarcasm. The younger ones shivered in their sleep, taking turns by the waning fire. The older kids shivered, too, as they took turns blocking the window. The shrill screech of wind shook the walls.

Behind them, two boys huddled in the corner. One was slightly older, ten or so, with matted brown hair that looked like it hadn't been washed for several days. Bags dragged themselves under his eyes, which were currently trained upon the abnormally pale face of a smaller boy who resembled a gaunt porcupine. The younger boy coughed in his sleep. Worry scampered across the older boy's face. Slowly, methodically, he removed his only sweater (faded blue, with an once-cream colored dragon across the front, a gift from Mother and Father from one of their trips abroad) and wrapped it around Mokuba's tiny frame.

A little blush of warmth suffused Mokie's face.

_..._

Mokie_ disliked _Gozaburo. The man was cruel, inhumane, and, most of all, a slave-driver when it came to _everything_. Relaxation simply wasn't part of the Kaiba creed. Study, work, study, work, study, work. If big bro wasn't poring over tomes of theories, Gozaburo had him poring over tomes of technical diagrams. Then it was on to archaic paradigm about business and politics and other big words that made Big Brother's shoulders droop a little bit more every day.

Mokuba sighed as he twiddled the colored pencils Hobson brought. The only nice person in their new home was Hobson, and even Hobson was sometimes mean because Gozaburo was. Here they had food, warmth, and blankets, but Mokuba much preferred life at the orphanage. At least Big Brother _smiled_ then. Now all he did was study, mope, study, and study some more, like one of those machines Gozaburo was so fond of sitting in a lab and not simply existing instead of living.

Big Bro had taken to calling him Mokie less and less since they moved into with Gozaburo. A never-ending pile of books stood between the boy who just wanted to play card games and the boy who was _supposed_ to accomplish more in life than just play card games.

Gozaburo simply didn't appreciate Big Brother's ideas about switching from producing weapons to children's card games. Apparently only the CEO knew things about good publicity and such. Children were only supposed to fade into the wallpaper and appear when directed, to show off their impressive Latin skills at corporate parties. Besides that they were just inconveniences, more mouths to feed, investments that didn't pay off until maturity.

Hobson the butler didn't quite share his employer's view. The boys were good kids, if a little angst-ridden after several months at the orphanage. The brothers didn't seem to have any other goals except to be as close to each other as possible as much as possible. When the elder one studied financial models, the younger one followed suit, holding the heavy hardcovers upside-down and scribbling nonsensical words on paper. When one drew sketches for duel disks and such, the other scribbled some chicken and dinosaur hybrid that looked like a cross between Frankenstein and Jekyll/Hyde with wings. Whatever _it_ was, it was always blue and the elder boy collected stack after stack of them the way some children collect candy and action figures.

Gozaburo had torn one of the drawings in a rage once, when the elder boy scored a measly 98% on his doctorate-level Calculus exam at thirteen. Mokie watched, lips quivering, then painstakingly glued the smithereens back together and hid it inside the front pages of Advanced Integrals for Child Geniuses. Gozaburo nearly popped a vein when he rediscovered the crooked remains of the colored pencils Mokuba used to draw presents for Seto.


	9. The Bride's Belt

**Trial #9**

**Disclaimer: I do not own YGO or the 12 Labors of Hercules. This chapter is based on the Belt of Hippolyte.**

**This was also one of the first chapters I ever wrote for this story. It's been...what...almost two years? **

* * *

"Mai, could you...possibly do me a favor and throwthebouquetmyway?"

Mai Valentine, soon to be Wheeler, gaped. Minutes passed before her brain processed Kaiba's strange request. Granted, the last part was jumbled, but it sounded an awful lot like Kaiba, yes, the Kaiba, wanted to catch the bouquet at her wedding. This was very strange. Who was this man? And what did he do to the guy who previously sneered that he would much rather dine on grass than attend her wedding to a third rate duelist and first class idiot?

She opted for civility, which was, in her opinion, more than kind. "Sure thing hun. But may I ask why?"

To her surprise, Seto Kaiba blushed. She didn't even know he could blush, let alone in such a pretty shade of pink. In fact, he matched the bunch of peonies she was holding. She couldn't fathom this insanity so she just stared. If only Joey could see this!

Catching her expression, Kaiba eked out an explanation. "It's for... a friend." He sounded as ridiculous as he felt. No wonder Mai looked like she wanted to call security or- worse- _Wheeler_.

Noticing the panic in Kaiba's eyes, Mai decided to humor him. But all her shocked brain could muster was a a meager "_Oh._" She wondered if Joey was behind this ridiculous little stunt. It would be just like her husband to be to blackmail Kaiba into causing a scene at their wedding. As if hiring twenty (yes, twenty!) Elvis impersonators wasn't enough. "A friend?" She probed gently.

Defying both logic and reality, Kaiba blushed an even deeper shade of crimson. Mai gaped. "He...love...girl...megetflower."

Mai sighed again. Either Joey magically developed excellent diplomatic skills or, more likely, Kaiba lost another duel with Yugi at the bachelor party and this atrocity, dr, comedy, is his punishment. What is it with boys and their card games trying to ruin her wedding? She pressed her bouquet into Kaiba's waiting arms. "All yours, hun. Now _go._"

Kaiba smirked. His plan worked flawlessly, as he knew it would. _Women_. _So predicable and gullible and so very harmless. _

Humming, he sauntered towards the portal...

Which felt weirdly solid. And silky.

_Hmm. Were those shoes?_

Kaiba looked up. A sea of pastel dresses. _Oh no oh no oh no oh no._

"Um...I didn't steal this if that's what-"

An angry roar of bridesmaids drowned his next words. Heels clicked dangerously. The flowers in his hand withered in shock. His heart shuddered in terror.

For the first time in his life, Kaiba ran. He recognized the look of steely determination in those eyes. It was the exact same look he gave competitors before crushing them like ants at a picnic. _Evidently they take this catching the bouquet nonsense as seriously as I take my monograms. It can't possibly end like this._

The pastel monstrosities ran surprisingly fast given their poor choice in footwear. They gained on him. Through the reception room, into banquet call, and through the venue. The wedding guests scrambled for cover as a flood of chiffon threatened to engulf a very tiny speck of white and pink. _Oh dear Fates I'm way too handsome to go like this!_

He spotted a trash chute in the distance. Lights pulsed.

_Salvation._

* * *

"Here." Panting, Kaiba shoved the accursed flowers at Seto with a growl. "You. Would. Not. Believe the lengths I had to go through for that. I. OWN. YOU."

Seto smirked. Perhaps it was cruel to use the magic of the rod to move the portal from the hallway to the door of the bridesmaid's room and then the trash chute...

_Nah._ Kaiba looked great in lettuce and newspaper.


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**Disclaimer: I do not own YGO or the 12 Labors of Hercules.**

**And here you go, how the story was supposed to end- the epilogue. Thanks to Umiko581 for editing this so, so very long ago.**

**...**

**Egypt, The Hall of Kings**

Kaiba's surprised yelps echoed throughout the Hall of Kings.

How did these two wriggling_ things_...get into his arms? Why is he cradling them? Were these brats..._cooing_?

Anubis laughed as he studied the look on Kaiba's face. _Foolish mortal_._ I promised Priest Seto and his beloved Kisara a brand new beginning, didn't I?_

Kaiba blinked as he tried to process his predicament. These hallucinations have finally reached absurdity. Was one of these miniature twerps...laughing at him ? He resisted the urge to karate chop the giggling bundle of silver hair as he contemplated a familiar and adorable face.

_Wait a minute. I did not just think this...whatever this is...is cute. That's just the indigestion talking._

The other of the giggling beings raised a tiny, cherubic fist in joy. A chubby little arm caressed Kaiba's jaw before abruptly connecting with his face. Kaiba grunted in shock. Both bundles giggled in unison. Two pairs of mischievous navy eyes glimmered, then suddenly dimmed as they registered the giant's stormy expression.

_"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh." Cried the silver haired one._

As if by magic, Kaiba's expression softened. Instinctively, he began to rock back and forth, his body lapsing into the familiar routine he used whenever Mokie cried. "Shhh," he whispered, "You're OK. I promise I'm not going to hurt you." The thing gurgled. He hummed Mokie's favorite lullaby as he surveyed the premises rapidly for witnesses. _Oh good. The geek squad's not here to see my humiliation._

Lost in thought, Kaiba missed the tell-tale glint in baby Seto's eyes.

_Thunk._

Anubis chortled again as another cherubic fist landed on Kaiba's face.

Now _this_ beats maiming any day.

* * *

**Japan, The Kaiba Mansion**

Kaiba awoke with a terrifying headache. Dimly, he registered Mokuba's concerned pleas. "Big brother! Wake up!"

Groggily, he opened his eyes. Mokuba leaped with joy. "You're awake! How was ancient-"

Ishizu cleared her throat.

"How was um...your dream?" Mokuba hastily amended.

Kaiba muttered "I don't believe that hocus pocus mumbo jumbo" before sleep claimed him, one hand holding Mokuba's and the other rubbing two very small bruises on his face.

* * *

**Egypt, The Afterlife**

Atem smiled as he waved a small wooden toy at a blue-eyed toddler. Giggling, mini Seto staggered towards the giant with the booming voice, "winning" the circular block with a squeal and triumphantly gifting it to his silver-haired companion. Baby Kisara gargled delightedly before embracing her playmate in an awkward, off-balance hug. Seto blushed. She babbled something in his ear, and, together, they set off on a wobbly game of hide and seek through the palace.

First came Kisara, who considered various pieces of furniture before ducking behind a large vase of peonies. Next came Seto, who squinted at the tables, chairs, and bureaus in confusion. No sign of Kisara. He frowned gravely before systematically searching behind every square-ish object in his vicinity. Nothing behind the columns, nothing behind the mirror, and nothing behind the decorative baskets.

He plopped onto the floor, despondent. His little fists pumped in anger.

Silence.

A wail conquered Seto's tiny frame.

Kisara exploded in mirth, sending a deluge of pink petals to the floor as she hastily departed her hiding place. A melange of blue, silver, and pink climbed unsteadily towards Seto, who barely caught her in his arms before they both tumbled to the floor. Engulfed again, Seto grinned.

_Found you._


End file.
